What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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