Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
