Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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