thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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