I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Randomize
