I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
