She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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