I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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