i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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