she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
