spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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