I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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