Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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