Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
