I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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