hotel room ftw
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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