I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
