We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
