she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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