At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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