Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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