Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
