why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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