just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
