Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
