My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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