Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
