Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
