Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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