Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
