how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
