those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
