I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
