I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
there is glitter all over my balls
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
