Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
