Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
nutella sex= disaster
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
