mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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