she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
