Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
