For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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