so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
