got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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