Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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