Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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