Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Never underestimate the power of titties
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
