it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
