I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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