Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
