Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
