Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
