i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
