I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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