Swine flu. Run for my life!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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