the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
