I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
